Ok over the past few months I’ve been working with clients and making new friends, listening to their stories, which brought me into thinking a lot about what truly matters.  My brother’s past relationships with their ex’s or ex’s to be, girlfriends who aren’t really girlfriends, but they think they are, regardless of their partners saying, No we are not. All these have caused me to stop, question, and look deeper at situations and things with clients and people in my life that are important.  Through the pain and challenges of people’s experiences, I’ve also been grateful for the perspective and awareness of being patient followed with an open mindset that helps bring more clarity.

Sadly, I’ve noticed that most people don’t focus on what and who truly matters to them as much as they would like to.  When I listen to their cries, I tend to acknowledge what truly distracts them from being happy. Most people are distracted by fears, ego, obsessions, which creates drama (some happened to be in my own life and all around the world), motivations, and all sorts of survival instincts and emotional reactions.  While I attempt to understand and have compassion for the fact that this is all part of human nature, I also know that when I get distracted like this, I’m not able to fully participate in the most important activities, relationships, and situations in my life.  I am sure you can relate to it!

I keep asking myself; why do we get so distracted in our lives?  Why it does occasionally involves heartbreak, crisis, illness, tragedy, war, or even death to awaken us up in order to get our attention?

In my opinion, it’s because we have a tendency to mess up our lives with too much “junk.”  We’re too busy, obsessed and over-committed on unimportant stuff.  Our goals are outrages and unachievable, and as a result, we fail by trying to “keep up” or be “vital,” and as a result, we attract anxiety, stress, drama, guilt, shame, and sadly it never stops there. Even though many of us, often complain that we can’t do anything about this, or it’s our karma, based on psychics, healers, coaches, and communication devices, based on the responsibilities of life, family, jobs, etc.  Not realizing how much unwanted “stuff” we clutter into our lives.  Much of this is what creates undesirable distractions that keep us away from the most important thing, which is happiness…

When you think about it, it’s really scary, especially when we have to face reality which requires us to focus on what truly matters.  Some of the most important life pleasure is the things that may seem “unimportant” to those around us.  These things usually have nothing to do with your careers, taking care of your girlfriend, boyfriend, families, pets, etc.  Even if you care, sadly, it’s often easier to just watch TV, separate, and only react to what’s going on around you than it is to engage in the things you value most.

So how do we attack all these internal conflicts about what “must” be done?  Whether it’s our lack of clarity or it’s this miracle of “doing” all over ourselves while focusing on the good stuff that truly matters to us… But it’s actually trickier than it seems on the surface.  With so many conflicting beliefs, ideas, and childhood programming, it’s not always easy to know with certainty what matters most.

What if we pretend and focus on what matters in our life all the time – not just when some unpleasant experience forces us to wake up, like a crisis, or major life change – but because we want to, because we choose to be pro-active.  What would your life look like if you let go of some of your biggest fear, limitations, distractions, worries, and stresses that takes all your attention, and for a change, it puts on the pedestal to life-changing happiness?

Here’s an exercise you can practice whenever you need to focus on the good stuff.

1. Write down a checklist of the most important aspects of your life.
2. Write down a list of things you spend most of your time doing and thinking about.  Be honest with yourself, those are usually the chattering voices or things you are proud of.
3. Now compare the two lists and see how you can compromise and negotiate the conflict between Good Stuff and Bad Stuff.

If you do it right, you’ll notice that they’re quite different.  Habitually what we tell ourselves that is important isn’t at all, and this is where we exhaust ourselves and our energy and thought.  When you do this, make sure you eliminate guilt, judgment, shame, and best of all be honest with yourself, tell the real story and see the gap between the two. Also ask yourself, how I can create the best plan an easy solution between these two lists. In other words, be more conscious and do whatever you have to by focusing on the good stuff, what truly matters to you!

Think and reflect: What matters most in your life? 

Do you allow yourself to be distracted by things that aren’t important? 

How can you stay connected to the most important things in your life so you can focus on pleasure?

Share your ideas, commitments, thoughts, dreams, and more here….