Some people trust easily and some just don’t, and everyone is different when it comes to granting their trust to others. In my opinion there are hard and solid factors that are played into people’s ability to trust certain people in their life. I think trust is based on

As I personally reflect on these questions, I’m reminded of both the importance and involvedness and interaction between one another in our lives, that includes everything from people we worth with, family and relationships.  Without trust there is no healthy relationship, wither if it’s without our work cycle or personal environments… I was thought that people must earn our trust, when, in fact, I personally felt it’s something we grant to others.

Life thought me the hard way, and from personal experience life wasn’t always safe when it came to trusting people – and no matter what, I kept forgetting that experiences assuming if I trust people they will be worthy of my trust.  But when I was married in my mid 20’s, I found myself in some difficult situations, and part of my “childhood upbringing-street-smart, survival gear” was to be very rebellious by not being suspicious of just about everyone I came into contact with, and as a result I trusted easily and instantly. While this served me during my childhood, but it didn’t when it came to my adulthood, because I didn’t know how to survive such a disappointment.

As I got older I noticed that putting my guards down by trusting everyone created some real issues in my life and my relationships.

No matter how many “bad experiences” I went through, it took me time to realize that in order for me to trust them, they had to “earn” my trust, because I got hurt too many times, and every process ended in disappointment on my behalf, therefor it was finally up to me to grant people my trust (or not) – and if I wanted to continue to grant them my trust (or not).

We all learn to trust and or not to trust, and believe it or not it all comes down to past experiences, good or bad. In other words, we are responsible if we get hurt, disappointed, abused, and burned in life and then choose, enough is enough, and I am DONE! And, “I’m not going to allow others to take advantage of me” and this is how we all learn to put up the right guard around ourselves in order to “protect” ourselves.

Unfortunately for most of us trust is done rationally from the need to be accepted, and as a result we behave compulsively with the hope that we won’t get hurt again, as we all know from personal experiences it’s not the case. And as a result it often leaves us guarded, suspicious and insecure – unable to open up easily in order for us to create meaningful and healthy relationships with individuals.  The irony of all that is, that no matter how protected we are, we usually repeat this mistakes over and over again.

Aren’t we all attempting to live as though we’re trying too hard to survive life?  I know I have, and this is why I keep reminding myself, no one ever has.

So no matter what, I have this philosophy that been helpful so far, and it’s to grant my trust unconditionally. Yes, it means I am willing to make myself vulnerable, by counting on other people in a genuine and healthy way, and hope for the best. Some call it, “being naïve,” which can be true, but at a much deeper level is very powerful and thoughtful way to connect better with others.

Isn’t this going to put me at risk of being hurt again? Possibly YES!  But when we are knowingly understand that life is life and thinks may or may not happen, it’s easy to move on from being hurt, because it’s just part of life.  And as a result, when we grant our trust consciously, we are easily able to create a real and deep connection, teamwork, and security in our lives, wither it’s within our relationships, with families, friends, coworkers, student’s, and etc. Even if we fear to repeat it again, we still come out of it better, wiser and stronger.

We are responsible to what we attract into our life.  Therefor we can’t just expect people to be there for us, and to never disappoint us or hurt us just because we thought they are trust-worthy, or just by trying too hard to protect our back from being backstabbed again.  Just like with everything else in life, we are responsible and it’s our choice to do what it’s best for us.  As Albert Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

Trust is Granted Not Earned!!!

I like what he said, and therefore I choose “unconditional and friendly,” what would you choose?

Ask yourself, How easy is it for me to trust people and why?

And are you willing to grant your trust unconditionally?

Share your experience, your attitude towards people and trust, and your knowledge, actions, ideas, and life learning’s in my blog bellow.