Oftentimes, codependent people grew up in strict environments, where they always found themselves getting put down. This leaves them wanting to control others after they’ve grown up. Mind you, they don’t want to control people purely for the sake of control; no, they’re interested in fixing people.

The problem is, even though everybody has some problems, not everybody wants to have their problems fixed! This means that a codependent person can make lots of enemies.

Things get especially hairy when two codependent people find each other. This is not uncommon. They pair up and work on each other’s problems. Although this may sound like a state of peacefulness, in the end, these parties, not wanting to be fixed, often end up turning on each other.

In general, it’s hard to identify codependent people, because they are very good liars. Not only do they lie, but they also hide. On the outside, for them, everything seems perfect. But once they get to know somebody, they become comfortable, and start revealing their flaws – at which point trouble begins. Imagine that: Having a flawed person in your life who wants to fix you!

Yet many of us do not have to imagine this, because we’re actually living through it.

In the event that a codependent person actually does manage to “cure” somebody else, the relationship is still doomed to go out of balance, because once the formerly “sick” person is “cured,” the codependent person has no more function within the relationship. That’s when the abuse begins…

It’s all about control. Codependents build people up and then smash them back down. If they don’t have obedient, controlled companions in their lives, then they grow hateful and resentful.

Healers and therapists can be codependent, for after all, they want to fix people for a living. But good healers know to only fix those who come to them for help. It’s not a healer’s business to help those who don’t want help. Those who don’t want help, however in need of help they may be, believe in the stories they’re telling themselves, and cannot be forced to improve.

If you recognize the above patterns within yourself, then you know that it’s time to stop trying to change others and start working to change yourself. You’re in the habit of building up a sense of control, confidence, and self-esteem by fixing others, when it’s you who’s in need of revision.

Everybody has a little bit of codependency within them. Be sure to take notice of it when it comes up within you. Don’t put on the wrong hat within a relationship. Don’t be a “mother” when you’re supposed to be a “lover,” in other words. Because eventually the other person will retaliate against you, having received “help” that they never asked for.

Doreen has conducted lectures on Past Life Regression and Energy Healing classes at various places and countries such as Israel, Mexico and Canada.
As a Certified Hypnotherapist and Energy Healer, Doreen draws to her practice a great experience in working with psychologists, family therapists, sexual assault therapists and physicians since 1999.
Doreen is also assisting therapeutic personal growth workshops for Chakra balancing that is called “The Dance Chakra,” as well her experience as a Certified Massage Therapist for six years.